Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Cultural Sensitivity While in Ethiopia

This was published in October of 2008 by the Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS).

From jcics.org:
Every adoption is like a rollercoaster for the adoptive parents. There are always obstacles to overcome and hoops to jump through. But in every adoption there are also many highs. For most adoptive parents the biggest high is finally being able to travel, meet the child whose photo you fell in love with long ago, and holding them in your arms. It is the moment that every adoptive parent longs for and dreams of. Adoptive parents want to spend every moment with their new child, learning every little piece of their personality and spirit. Adoptive parents want to show their new child(ren) everything that the world has to offer them. This being said sometimes it is necessary for an adoptive family to be respectful of a country’s local culture and hold off these magical moments for a few days. Joint Council feels that this is the case in Ethiopia...

...The large number of adoptive families combined with the curiosity and suspicions of Ethiopian citizens and with cultural differences in parenting and child behavior, is unfortunately causing unintended yet very significant concerns among some Ethiopian citizens and the government.

Please click here to read the whole cultural sensitivity document.

Monday, March 29, 2010

People of Ethiopia

In the 1980s, the Ethiopian Tourism Commission published several books. The text that follows is the introduction from one of those books, titled Ethiopians and The Houses They Live In, written and illustrated by Jill Last.
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Ethiopia is not only a large area , about the size of France, Germany and Spain combined, its altitudinal range is from a hundred metres below sea level -- one of the hottest spots on earth -- to over four and a half thousand, the summit of Africa's fourth highest mountain. This altitude range is divided into three zones: daga, woina daga and kolla, corresponding to highlands, middlelands and lowlands.

The highlands are mainly inhabited by Christian people who, with teams of oxen, plough the stony hillsides in the north and the richer arable valleys and plateaulands in the northwest. The population is not dense and the settlements tend to be scattered all over the landscape. Vast, deep gorges separate one plateau area from another, causing considerable social isolation to the Tigray and Amhara people who live here. Here is where t'eff is grown -- the cereal most favored by the highlanders. The keeping of cattle is secondary to these farmers.

Dropping from the 2,500-3,500 metre daga, we find very different cultural modes. at 1,500-2,500 metres lie the 'horticultural' areas, where the language base is often Cushitic as opposed to the northern Semitic (Gurage is the exception). This is the ensete area -- one of the few plant cultures in East Africa -- rolling green country with bamboo and acacia stands, homesteads clustering together, and the well-tended and manicured smallholdings. Here the land is extremely fertile and the population density is very high. Ancient methods of land allocation. This is the country of the Dorze, the Guarge and the Sidama.

Lower still, is the areal of pastoralists -- the true cattle people. This is the grass savanna and desert, and about twenty percent of the people who live here are nomadic or semi-nomadic. Vast areas of otherwise unproductive wastelands are ranged by the herding cultures; people like the Arsi, the Borena, the Afar, the Somali or the Nuer, to whom cattle are the source of power, prestige and security. These people are mainly Moslem and have been for several centuries, and their political structure has of necessity been based on bond friendship ties. The so-called 'pure' pastoralists who inhabit the inhospitable desert country of the Afar Triangle herd mainly camels and goats and subsist almost exclusively on a diet of milk, butter and meat. In a slightly less harsh environment you find the mixed cultivators, herding cattle and camels but also growing sugar and cotton crops. These are the Konso, the Harer Kottu, and the Anuak of Gambela, etc.

These broad sweeping categories, intended only to give a general picture of the extraordinary diversity of the land and its peoples. There are in fact an astonishing eighty-three languages and two hundred dialects spoken by Ethiopians. Each group tends to have some slight cultural difference even from its nearest neighbors. Their customs, and indeed their whole manner of living, their homes, and their diet have evolved over the generations, using local materials to advantage and trading to acquire occasional 'imported' goods. The people have prevailed, in spite of periodic famine, war and disease, and are now preparing to take a massive step forward in the time scale and adapt to 20th century technology.

It is vital to remember and understand the past, to take into consideration present cultural modes in order to transfer traditional goals and methods to modern concepts without destroying useful values, confidence and individuality. "Tribalism" per se must constitute a threat to development, but tolerance for ethnic differences, and the respect of one group for another with different customs, helps people to adapt to necessary changes and accept the idea that a part of their autonomy must be sacrificed to the building of the nation as a whole. Aware and proud of their differences, Ethiopia's people can work together towards a better life in the future.


Friday, March 26, 2010

Foto Friday

Look at these little IAN loves! So cute...









Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Attachment and Bonding

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OUR LIFE UPSTATE

Attachment and Bonding - these are two huge words in the adoption world. They are words that we parents take to heart. We spend time researching and learning about. We learn the best ways to bond with our new children. We read up on signs of attachment. Signs of attachment disorders. We can tell you what we expect. We almost all say things like "we know there will be an adjustment period." "we know it takes time." "we are prepared for our new child to grieve the life they knew." And we are somewhat prepared, up until that moment our new child is placed in our arms.

When I picked Little Sister up she was so tiny and frail. Her head was about three times the weight of the rest of her. She could barely hold her head up. The number one thing I was concerned about with her was her health. I forgot all of the attachment things I was supposed to be doing and threw myself into getting her healthy. I am sure it played a part in my failing to nurse her. I would have fed her anything she would eat at that moment. I knew she needed food, I knew she needed caring for. I was extremely scared for her. And I was alone. With the other two kids with me too. I put Little Sister is the moby and tried the best I could to balance the three kids.

I had every intention of allowing her to sleep with me - well, with us since there was only one bed and we were all in it. But she did not sleep that way and the wonderful woman who owns the Yeka Guesthouse gave us a crib to help. So, Little Sister went in the crib. Now that is the second thing in my "bag of tricks" to facilitate attachment that I have failed to do. *sigh* But she is sleeping well and within just a few days I can already tell she is gaining weight. This is good.

After just a few more days I start to realize that I need to push her towards doing more than being a lump. This means I must put her down. I must get her some floor time. So, I get all the kids on the floor and I start working on getting Little Sister to sit up. And she DOES!! After just a few tries she gets it. She starts to sit there and happily watch Big Brother and Big Sister play. They, of course, are running around with the mini hockey sticks we managed to get in our bag and a piece of balled up paper. They all seem to be having fun.

I sit back and I watch. And I start thinking about all the reading I did on attachment and how I am doing everything wrong. Breastfeeding fosters attachment but that is not working, Co-sleeping fosters attachment but that does not seem to work, carrying her fosters attachment and okay I am carrying her plenty but I am also encouraging her to spend time playing independently. Each and every one of these decisions feels right individually but when I put them all together I wonder - am I hurting her ability to attach to us?

Time goes on, we come home and I'm still wrestling with these things. I am so torn. I do not know when to concern myself with her overall health and well being and when to concentrate on bonding and attachment. Once we are home Big Sister seems to realize that this fun new baby is here to stay and starts having days where all she wants is me. I have to try to balance the two. I am so lost. It starts to be especially bad when we are out. The minute I pick up Little Sister Big Sister starts to throw herself around and need me to pick her up. It is exhausting.

We have some wonderful friends who are more than willing to take Little Sister and snuggle her and give her some attention and love while I try to calm Big Sister down. I start to notice how frequently Little Sister is being held by someone else. She does not mind. She is happy that way. She likes people. She is super friendly. But does that hurt bonding? Will she not attach to us if I keep letting other people hold her? I try to draw the line. I try to not give into Big Sister as much. It seems to backfire. Big Sister gets harder to handle. She gets more clingy. And this forces me to rethink the whole thing.

I mean I can see Little Sister attaching to us. I can see the bonding. I see the way she now claps her hands when Hubby walks in after work. I see the way she reaches for us. I see the way her sweet face lights up when I smile at her. She did not smile for the first month or so of being with us. This picture is not the first time she smiled at us but it is the first picture I have of her really smiling - and it was taken almost two months after I picked her up. I do not let anyone else feed her. Or bathe her. Or changing her. Or make her feel better when she is upset. Or do any of the most basic care things for her. Those are some of the big things that I have retained from my bonding and attachment reading.

But mostly I have calmed down. All of a sudden one day I remembered something someone said to me when I was concerned about Big Sister. When I thought she would never walk because she was always in the moby someone told me to calm down that we never see kids who are not walking at three because their moms are holding them. So, I decided to translate that to this situataion and cut myself some slack. I mean really if we fast forward two years (which is about the time that most books say it takes to foster a strong and permanent bond and attachment) do I actualy believe she will not be bonded to us because I have allowed other people to hold her? Would that be true if I had given birth to her? Of course not!! And so she will be my friendliest child. She will be the one that is happy to stay with a friend while I take Big Sister to the bathroom or run an errand. And that's okay - it does not mean she loves us any less. The fact that she does not cling to me like crazy and refuse to let anyone else hold her does not mean she is not bonding - it only means that she is friendly.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Alicha Siga Wat

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY CHARISA ON FOR SUCH AS THESE

This is a recipe for a mild beef stew. This is great for kids or people who don’t like the spicy flavor of Berbere! I started with recipe from EthiopiaSpices.com and made it my own. :)

This will serve 10.

3 pounds of beef cubed

3 large onions chopped

5 tsps minced garlic

vegetable oil to simmer onion & garlic

2 tsps minced or powdered ginger ( I prefer minced!)

1-2 tsps of turmeric

2 tsps of Alicha Kimem (I purchase mine from EthiopianSpices)

2 tsp salt

Enough water (depending on how much meat you use) to make it a thick stew.

In a large pot, simmer onion and garlic with oil till lightly browned. Add turmeric and continue to simmer for about 15 minutes at low heat. Stir occasionally. Add beef and water and let simmer until beef is done. When done , add Alicha Kimem and salt. Serve hot with injera!

Next time I make it, I’ll add a picture!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Foto Friday

More gorgeous, smiley IAN kiddos! Ahhhh...must be a Friday!











Thursday, March 18, 2010

Travel Tips: Part 2

Ideas for donations for Sele Enat:
  • Generic ibuprofen or Advil for the nannies
  • School supplies
  • Toddler clothing
  • Kids DVDs

Ideas for donations for the care center:
  • Baby soap, baby shampoo, lotion and hand sanitizer are used alot and hard to come by in Ethiopia
  • Selsun Blue to help control ringworm
  • Toddler clothing
  • Fresh fruit bought in Ethiopia

Pollution:
  • Bring a scarf to cover your nose and mouth while driving when the pollution seems worst.
  • Pack over-the-counter allergy medicines to potentially take daily

Over-the-counter medicines:
  • Allergy medicine to help with pollution
  • Motion sickness medicine (Dramamine) for stop/start, jerky car rides

Please leave other travel tips you think of in the comments. Thank you!